Pretending
by notsure2010
Summary: Jane and Maura belong together, but there may be a few issues to work out first.  Definitely M, and definitely angsty.
1. Chapter 1

"Didn't you ever play _any_ games as a kid?" Jane asked the question, but she already knew the answer. On their way back from dinner Maura had admitted that she had never played tag or foursquare when she was growing up, nor had she made a hideout with blankets and a bunk bed to play cops and robbers.

"I didn't have any siblings, so who was I supposed to play these games with?" Maura stood in front of Jane's bookshelf, looking for a DVD for the two of them to watch and pretending that her lack of experience with childhood games was nothing to be concerned about.

"I don't know, your friends? Your nanny?"

Maura just sighed, and gave Jane a look. Jane felt badly for making Maura remember what must have been a very lonely childhood, so she changed the subject quickly.

"Here, give me your arm and close your eyes," said Jane as she sat down on the couch and pulled Maura down next to her. She reached for Maura's arm and straightened it out, holding it tightly at the wrist.

"Jane, what are you doing?" Maura wasn't at all sure where this was going, but she didn't pull away.

"Just trust me. Me and Frankie played this game all the time. Now that I think about it, you know so much about human anatomy that you can probably explain to me how it works."

Maura still looked confused, but also interested, so Jane continued.

"Okay, you close your eyes and I tickle your arm, starting at the wrist and moving up. Then when I get to the crease of the arm, you tell me to stop."

"Why is this a game?"

"Because it's actually really hard to tell exactly where you're being touched when your eyes are closed."

Maura narrowed her eyes and gave Jane a quizzical look. She wondered if Jane was teasing her.

"C'mon, Maura, just close your eyes!"

"Okay, okay, I'm ready." Maura settled back on the couch and closed her eyes, a faint smile on her lips. Soon she felt Jane's feather-light touches on her arm.

"Mmm, that actually feels–" Maura paused involuntarily as her breath caught in her throat. The touch of Jane's fingers was sending chills up and down her arm, and she felt a strange flutter in her stomach.

"Really nice–"

"Shh, you're supposed to be concentrating or you'll lose the game."

Maura complied, but found it was nearly impossible to think about the game when all she felt was heat coursing through her body. She wondered if Jane noticed her blushing. She almost pulled away, afraid of what she was feeling and afraid of Jane finding out what she was feeling, when suddenly Jane stopped the movement of her fingers and poked her arm.

"You lose, look where I got to!" Maura opened her eyes and looked down. Jane's finger was resting nearly two inches above the crease in her arm.

"Oh! I had no idea." Maura looked up to see Jane grinning, and felt her heart beating very rapidly. She breathed deeply, digging deep down for the resolve to stop this little game before it got out of control.

She failed. "Okay, let me try." She took Jane's arm with shaky fingers.

Maura began the game again, telling herself that it was a scientific experiment but knowing that something else was happening, something she didn't want to acknowledge. She moved her fingers slowly up Jane's arm, watching Jane's face the whole time. Jane was concentrating, but her breathing increased and Maura wondered if her friend was enjoying the physical contact as much as she had.

Jane lost the game, telling Maura to stop just a fraction of a second too early. Then Maura held out her arm again for the next round. Jane took the proffered arm and Maura closed her eyes without being told, waiting to feel Jane's touch again.

When Jane spoke her voice was—different. Huskier than usual. Maura had never heard Jane speak like this, and it thrilled her.

"Let's try something different this time–"

Maura felt her arm being lifted, and then something soft and warm on her wrist.

Jane's lips. "Oh . . ." And then Jane's tongue.

"Do you like that, Maura?" Jane's voice was gentle, but very deep and very sexy.

Maura nodded, and stopped breathing as Jane's mouth slowly traveled up her arm.

By the time Jane had gone several inches past the crease in her arm, Maura had to breathe again, but she had no intention of telling Jane to stop.

"Jane." Her voice came out sounding a bit strangled, halfway between a word and a moan.

"Hmm?" Jane hummed into her arm.

"We're not playing the game anymore, are we?"

"No, I don't think so." Jane's mouth never stopped exploring Maura's skin.

"Then what are we doing?" Maura felt compelled to ask, despite the fact that she was nearly writhing with arousal.

"I don't know." Jane pulled back. "Do you want me to stop?"

Maura's eyes snapped open, and looked at Jane. Seeing signs of Jane's arousal—darkened eyes, flushed skin—only increased her own. She could only shake her head, and mouth the word "no."

Jane's lips moved further now, until they found Maura's collarbone. She dropped the arm she had been tasting so extensively and began leaving a wet trail across Maura's neck.

"Maura, you taste—so good."

Maura leaned her head back to give Jane more access to her throat and ran her hands up and down the soft cotton of Jane's t-shirt. She felt herself becoming impossibly aroused. _How did this happen so fast?_

All the times that she and Jane had cuddled on the couch, all the times they had shared a bed, every time they touched each other and let their fingers linger just a little bit too long—Maura had just told herself it was normal and that she and Jane just had an unusually close friendship. But these feelings—these strong, raw urges that were rapidly overwhelming her—a line had definitely been crossed, and there was no going back.

Maura's brain began screaming at her, telling her this was wrong, that Jane was her best friend, that Jane was a woman, that this wasn't supposed to happen, that she shouldn't, couldn't–

And then Jane sucked on a soft spot just below her ear and her body's screams for more drowned out her brain's reservations and she groaned out loud.

"God, Jane!"

Jane leaned away and smiled, happy to see that her ministrations were breaking down Maura's inhibitions. Jane's smile and her darkening eyes only served to turn her on even more, and before she knew what she was doing she had climbed into Jane's lap, straddling her hips and gripping her shoulders. Jane looked surprised, and it was her turn to moan as she felt Maura's lips press roughly against her own. Maura immediately thrust her tongue into Jane's mouth, finding it impossible to be patient or gentle.

Jane responded eagerly, and their tongues battled fiercely until Maura broke away and demanded more.

"Inside me, Jane—I want you inside me, please." She used both her hands to hitch up her skirt around her waist and then spread her legs as wide as she could while resting on her knees above Jane's lap.

Jane slipped her hand between Maura's thighs, pushing aside the black lace of her underwear. She softly touched Maura's wet and swollen pussy, tickling and teasing until Maura screamed in frustration.

"Jane! Please!"

As soon as she felt Jane's fingers enter her, Maura let her weight sink into Jane's hand. As Jane pushed upward she pushed downward, leaning on Jane's shoulders for support. She rode Jane's hand furiously until she came, and then crumpled into a panting heap, curled up on the couch with her head in Jane's lap.

It took a long time for Maura to come down from her orgasm. Jane stroked her hair patiently, amazed at what had just happened.

When Maura finally came down, she came down hard. In her mind's eye, she imagined what she must have looked like, grinding into Jane, panting and grunting like an animal. _A fucking animal_.

She felt her skirt bunched up around her waist, and Jane's hand softly caressing her bare thigh—only now she didn't find it arousing at all. Waves of shame and self-loathing washed over her, and she felt hot tears burning in her eyes.

"No, Jane, how could you let me do that?" She scooted awkwardly off of Jane's lap and then stood up, tugging down her skirt and smoothing her hair.

"What are you talking about—Maura—where are you going? What's wrong?" Jane stood up and tried to grip Maura's shoulders but her advances were shrugged off as Maura began hunting for her shoes.

"Maura, that was amazing, I loved it, I love you, please don't go! At least talk to me!"

Maura didn't say anything.

Jane pleaded with Maura, desperate to keep her from running away. "Maura, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted it—and I wanted you so much—we've been dancing around it all this time, haven't we?"

Maura turned away from Jane and headed towards the door, sobbing. "I can't, Jane, I just can't. I'm sorry." She stopped at the door and tried to get herself under control, wiping away the tears as best she could. She opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her without once looking Jane in the eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles_.

Jane knew very well that she wasn't good at relationships. She had very few close friends, and most of her boyfriends lasted no longer than a few weeks—at most a couple of months. When people (meaning her mother) asked her why, she always gave the same answer—that her job was more important to her than anything else. After all, she had worked incredibly hard to become a homicide detective, and everyone knew it was a job that often required round-the-clock attention. Who could blame her if she couldn't find time for a boyfriend?

She knew this answer wasn't entirely truthful, however; it wasn't that she didn't want relationships or wasn't willing to commit to them, it was just that she had never really found anyone that she connected with. Men hit on her all the time, and if she thought she might be interested she flirted back, but casual interest rarely led to anything deeper. Something always seemed off in her relationships, and since Jane couldn't abide the thought of wasting time on anything that wasn't good and right and worthwhile, she brushed off most romantic advances and concentrated on her job and her family.

And, as her mother reminded her often, her stubbornness, her refusal to compromise, and the fact that she was generally unwilling to "put herself out there" didn't help matters. By the time she reached her mid-thirties, she was beginning to think that she really would spend her life alone.

Then she met Maura. She would never say it was love at first sight, since the idea of falling in love with a woman had never crossed her mind, but the connection she felt with the new chief medical examiner was nearly instantaneous.

Maura Isles was the definition of good and right and worthwhile, so Jane pursued a friendship with her without giving it a second thought. The two women grew closer and closer as the months passed and pretty soon Jane had a hard time imagining life without her doctor friend.

The physical attraction came much later than the friendship, however. One evening Jane sought refuge from a particularly personal case plus relentless nagging from her mother by knocking on Maura's door and asking if she could stay the night in the guest room. Sensing Jane's emotional and physical exhaustion, Maura climbed into bed with her friend hoping that she could be of some comfort.

As Maura settled next to her, still fully clothed but close enough to reach out and touch her arm, Jane had jokingly asked her friend, "Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of telling me you're attracted to me?"

Both women had laughed and the conversation turned toward more serious topics, but later that night after Maura had fallen asleep next to her Jane thought a lot about the off-the-cuff comment she had made. She realized that perhaps there was something more than friendship going on between the two of them. She enjoyed being physically close to Maura as well as emotionally close—she liked knowing that Maura was near enough to touch. At that moment she imagined for the first time what it might be like to kiss Maura, to taste her lips, to run her fingers through her hair and stroke the soft skin at the small of her back—and she felt her body tingle and her heart race at the thought.

When her imagination got her as far as sucking and teasing a pink nipple while Maura moaned beneath her, she knew there could definitely be something more to this relationship.

She was attracted to Maura and she wanted Maura to be attracted to her. She wished that instead of giggling when Jane had joked about their sleepover, Maura had leaned over and kissed her.

Jane had never been the one to make the first move in any of her previous relationships, and with the added complication of the fact that the object of her affections was not only her best friend but also a woman, Jane had no idea what to do.

She was exceptionally good at observing human behavior, however, so she began to look for signs that Maura might be open to a physical relationship. When they went undercover at a lesbian bar, she was fairly certain Maura had been flirting with her. Working as a waitress in a tight uniform that exposed enough cleavage to make Jane weak in the knees, Maura had practically dared Jane to make a move. And she had even asked Jane what type of women she thought they would like if they liked women. Maura had flat out told Jane that women thought she was hot—if there was ever a hint, wasn't that it? If she had just bantered back and asked if Maura was one of those women, would they have fallen into bed with each other that night?

But Jane hadn't taken the bait, out of fear of ruining their friendship. And when things over the next several months had suddenly gotten horribly busy and complicated, Jane kicked herself time and time again for not making her move that night.

A serial killer that Jane had caught and jailed sent an apprentice out after her, and both she and her brother had been taken hostage and nearly killed.

Maura discovered that her biological father was an infamous mob boss, and she had to live with the guilt of knowing that this man, who Jane called the 'sperm donor,' had killed for her, just to keep her safe.

Jane had to shoot herself in the abdomen to end a hostage situation orchestrated by a dirty cop and then spent two weeks in the hospital and nearly two months on leave from her job.

It had all been too much—one exhausting case after another, one sleepless night after another. Jane had barely had time to think about anything other than surviving from day to day, and her daydreams of becoming Maura Isles' lover went onto the backburner.

But when things finally calmed down, she found that her love for Maura had grown even deeper. Maura had stuck with her through everything, and they seemed to understand each other even more than they had before.

So when Jane began tickling Maura's arm that night on the couch and saw the unmistakable signs of Maura's arousal, she knew she couldn't let another opportunity pass by. Jane could read Maura's emotions extremely well, and by the time Jane started kissing her way up her arm every muscle in Maura's body, every shallow breath she took, every inch of gooseflesh that appeared, seemed to tell Jane that she would be crazy not to just take her right then and there.

When Maura kissed her, she thought her heart might explode.

And when Maura straddled her hips begging to be fucked, she almost came herself. The two of them hadn't even removed any clothing but the throbbing between her legs was stronger than she ever could have imagined. She had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Maura.

Giving her best friend that orgasm had been one of the most exciting sexual experiences of her life.

Then she had had five minutes of pure bliss—five minutes of cradling Maura in her lap and realizing that it was finally happening. Five minutes of believing that it was only the first of many orgasms that the two women would share together. Five minutes of feeling a love so profound that she wanted to scream and cry and laugh all at the same time.

But it was only five minutes.

She knew that kissing Maura had been risky, but she never in her life imagined that the end result would be a sense of fear and loss so overwhelming that she spent half the night sobbing on her couch, incapable of thinking about anything but the disgust in Maura's voice as she had been rejected and literally shoved away.

* * *

The next morning, after two giant cups of coffee, Jane managed to put herself together and got into work only slightly late. She hadn't decided how to handle the situation with Maura, but she told herself that at the very least she had to try to avoid causing a scene at work.

She failed.

On her desk chair she found a note, in a cream-colored envelope with her name on it. She instantly recognized the handwriting as Maura's. She sat down and ripped it open.

_Dear Jane,_

_I am so sorry about what happened last night. We are friends and coworkers and I never should have allowed myself to lose control like that. I think the best thing for us is just to pretend that it never happened, and then never let it happen again._

_Again, I apologize. I hope you can forgive me._

_Sincerely,_

_Maura_

Jane read the note several times, feeling the hurt and pain bubbling up inside of her. But this time the pain didn't turn into tears, it turned into anger. Throwing caution to the wind, she rode the elevator down to the morgue, clenching her jaw and biting her lip.

She found Maura in the morgue, sitting in front of her computer. Jane looked around to make sure they were alone, and then launched into what could only be called a tirade.

"A goddamn note, Maura?" She waved the crumpled stationery in Maura's face. "You think you can just write a note and I'll forget what happened?"

"Jane, I—"

"And we're _coworkers_? Is that all our friendship is to you? After all we've been through together? You owe me an explanation, Maura. You owe me more than a fucking letter." Now she threw the paper on the desk and folded her arms in front of her, staring Maura down.

Maura looked stricken, and Jane wondered if she was going to cry. At this point, she didn't care. She was too angry.

"Jane, I said I was sorry," Maura said in a quiet voice.

"That's not good enough."

"Well, I don't know what else to say. Yes, we certainly are more than just coworkers, maybe I should have used a different word—"

"Really Maura? You should have used a different word? That's your big mistake?"

Maura looked away, twisting the ring on her finger. "You mean a lot to me Jane, but I—we shouldn't have—I don't know what to say."

Jane's anger began to dissipate as she saw how flustered Maura was, but she still wanted an explanation.

"Did I do something to make you angry, Maura?"

"No!" Maura briefly met Jane's gaze and then looked away again. "No, it was my fault."

"Your fault? Why do you think what we did was so wrong? Is it because I'm—because we're both women?"

"No, I'm not a homophobe, Jane, and I have nothing against lesbians—"

"Then please, Maura, tell me what's wrong." Jane put a gentle hand on Maura's shoulder, but immediately pulled it back when she saw Maura flinch. A wave of pain flashed through her again.

Jane didn't wait for Maura's answer after that. She rubbed her forehead and exhaled.

"Okay, Maura, you win. I guess we'll just pretend it didn't happen," she said in a tired and resigned voice. Then she turned on her heel and walked out of the morgue.

**A/N: Don't worry, the angst won't last forever . . .**

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles_.

After a month of pretending, Jane felt broken down and more lonely than she ever had in her life. Although she saw Maura regularly at work, it was nothing like it had been before. Sometimes the empty hole that Maura had left behind threatened to open up and swallow her, but she managed to make it through her days, one by one.

One chilly day in November, Jane found herself at a crime scene without Maura. This wasn't entirely unusual, since the M.E. often sent her assistants to collect bodies in routine cases. But Jane overheard the assistant mention that Maura hadn't been into work in two days—she had come down with the flu.

Jane instantly felt guilty—the two women had become so adept at avoiding each other that she hadn't even noticed that Maura wasn't at work. Then she thought about Maura alone and sick and her heart melted.

Late that afternoon Jane managed to get away from work a little early and she made a beeline to her mother's house to collect supplies.

"Ma, do you have any of that special soup you make for sick people in here?" Angela Rizzoli came down the stairs to find her daughter pulling plastic containers out of the freezer.

"Why?" Angela took her daughter's face in her hands to check for signs of illness. "You look fine, who's sick? Frankie?"

"No, Ma, Maura's got the flu. Quit pinching me."

"Maura? Oh, that's too bad. Here, get out of the way and I'll find the soup before you ruin everything in my freezer." Jane stepped away and started to look for her mother's homemade cough drops in a cupboard next to the refrigerator.

"Jane, I thought you and Maura had a falling out—are you two back together?"

"What do you mean, back together?" Jane felt herself blush. She hadn't said a word to anyone about what had transpired between her and Maura, and she thought she had been covering up pretty well.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Jane. You two were way too, um, close to be just friends. But I haven't heard a thing about her in weeks, and Frankie says—"

"Frankie says what? Geez, is everyone butting into my life now?" Jane ran her hand through her hair and headed down the hallway.

"Jane, get back here—we should talk about this!"

"I'm looking for the cough drops, ma, just wait half a second, okay?"

Jane stayed in the bathroom long after she found the cough drops, trying to figure out exactly what she was going to say to her mother. She really had no idea how Angela would react if she found out that her daughter was in love with a woman, but at the same time she was slightly relieved to discover that at least her mother knew something was going on and actually wanted to talk about it. The truth was, Jane had been keeping everything bottled up for so long that she was dying to have someone to talk to.

When Jane returned to the kitchen, Angela was putting the soup container into a plastic sack, along with some crackers and a box of tissues. She handed it to Jane, who added the cough drops and then just stood in the kitchen looking slightly uncomfortable.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Jane sighed. "Okay, you're sort of right. I wanted to—you know, try being in a relationship with Maura." Jane turned around and headed for the living room so that she wouldn't have to look her mother in the eyes.

"We got along so well, and you know how horrible I am at dating. I thought it might be a good idea."

"And?" Angela followed her daughter into the living room.

Jane hesitated. She did not want her mother to know the disastrous details of her one sexual experience with Maura.

"And, when I, um," Jane hemmed and hawed, searching for the right words, "When I broached the subject with Maura, she—she didn't react well. So we're trying to pretend like nothing ever happened and go back to being friends."

"And?"

Jane wondered how her mother always knew there was more to the story.

"And, that's not going very well either, okay? But I found out that she has the flu, and I can't just leave her alone when she's sick, so I'm going to bring her some soup and try to take care of her, if she'll let me."

"You really love her, don't you, Jane," said Angela softly. She squeezed her daughter's arm sympathetically.

Jane just nodded and took a deep breath, feeling emotionally overwhelmed and not really trusting herself to speak.

Angela continued to ask questions, trying to figure out the situation. "So Maura doesn't like women? Is that why she rejected you?"

"I don't know, Ma. Geez, put it bluntly, why don't you. This is so embarrassing," Jane sniffled.

"I'm your mother, Janie, it's not embarrassing. In some ways this might be a good thing—now we know that you like women, you can–"

"Ma, don't even start—you are not going to try to set me up with women!" Jane gave a half-hearted laugh, wiping away the few tears that had fallen onto her cheeks. "Besides, I don't even know if I like women, you know, that way. I just—I just like Maura. She's—she's everything to me, and I just can't believe I messed things up so badly." New tears began collecting in her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back.

"Jane, I know you don't want advice from an old woman, but I think if she means that much to you then you ought to try and fix it."

"How am I supposed to fix it, if I don't even know what's wrong? She won't tell me. She won't talk to me. The longest conversation we've had in the last month was about the weather!"

"So you don't know what you did wrong?"

"She says I didn't do anything wrong. But that's all she's said."

"Really? You aren't leaving something out?"

Without really knowing why, Jane just blurted everything out in short but loud sentences while she paced around the room.

"We had sex, okay? I know that's what you want to know. Then suddenly she was crying and yelling at me, and she says she wants to just pretend it never happened. And I don't want to pretend, I don't want to forget, I want to know why she hates me and then figure out how to make her not hate me! And I want to stop feeling like a damn teenager who just got dumped!"

Angela quickly crossed the room so that she could put her arms around Jane, who had sunk onto the couch with tears streaming down her face.

"Shh, honey, it's okay," whispered Angela, holding her sobbing daughter until she began to breathe normally again.

"Listen, Jane. I don't know Maura as well as you do, but I do know that you two are the same in one important way. You're both tough on the outside and soft as jelly on the inside. I've seen Maura with you, and it's always been plain as day that she loves you. There's no way that she hates you—I don't believe that for one second. But for some reason she feels like she has to be tough right now, and that she has to protect her heart. So she's pushing you away, even though she probably hurts just as much as you do."

"How do you know that, Ma?" Jane mumbled, still sniffling.

"Because I've seen you do the same thing just about a thousand times, that's why!"

Jane chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm doing it right now, aren't I? I'm just as stubborn as she is."

Angela just nodded.

"So what do I do now?"

"Something really hard. Especially for you."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ma. Are you going to tell me?"

"You have to be patient. Wait until she's ready to deal with it. But there's one thing she's really wrong about—you can't pretend like nothing happened. Stop pretending, Jane. And get over there and bring her this soup!"

"Thanks, Ma."

* * *

Jane drove quickly to Maura's house and after parking out front she dialed Maura's phone number.

"Isles."

Jane winced at the impersonal way that Maura now answered her calls, but remembered what her mother said and tried not to get upset.

"Hey, Maura, it's Jane. I heard you were sick and I brought you some stuff—I'll just let myself in with my key so you don't have to get out of bed, okay?"

"Jane, that's really not necessary, and I don't want you to catch this." Maura's voice sounded scratchy.

"I'm already out front, it's no big deal. I had the flu last year, and a flu shot a couple of weeks ago, so I probably won't get it.

"Jane, really, I'm fine."

"Maura, I'm not taking no for an answer. You are my friend, and I don't want you to be alone when you're sick."

Maura was silent for a second, and then said in a small voice, "Okay. You can come in."

Jane found Maura in bed, looking pale and shivering. "Oh, sweetie, you look terrible! What kind of flu is this?"

Maura spoke more slowly than usual, and she didn't even lift her head off the pillow, but her answer was as precise as ever. "There's no way to be sure without some lab work, and most physicians prefer not to see flu patients except in cases of severe dehydration or other anomalies. So I'm not entirely sure."

Jane smiled at Maura's answer, but didn't tease. "I meant, what do you feel like? What are your symptoms?"

"Fever, chills, fatigue, sore throat, loss of appetite, and muscle aches."

"So, in other words, you feel like you want to die."

Maura smiled weakly, but Jane could see tears threatening. "Yes, that's exactly it."

Jane put her hand on Maura's forehead. "Maura! You're burning up! Aren't you taking anything for the fever?"

"Yes, but it's not helping anymore and I can't take another dose for," she paused to look at the clock on the bedside table, "twenty-two more minutes."

"Oh yeah, I remember that from last year. The stuff always wears off too damn fast." She stroked Maura's hair briefly. "Do I still have some old pajamas here?"

"I think so, in the guest room, but Jane, I don't think—" Jane ignored her friend and headed down the hall. She came back in half a minute wearing sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt. She climbed into bed next to Maura, hoping that her additional body heat would keep her patient from shivering so violently.

"Jane—"

"Relax, Maura, I'm not going to come onto you when you have the flu. I'm just trying to warm you up." Jane turned on her side and put her arms around Maura's waist, pulling her close.

"That's not what I was going to say, I just don't want you to get sick."

"I probably won't get sick, and anyway who cares if I do? You spent how many hours sitting with me when I was in the hospital this summer? How many hours cooking meals for me when I was recovering, cleaning up after me, doing my laundry. Even if I get the flu for a week I'd still owe you."

Maura had no energy to protest further. She took several deep breaths, and Jane felt her body calm down. She stopped shivering, and let herself lean back into Jane. After a few moments, murmured softly, "I'm so glad you're here, Jane."

"I'm glad I'm here too. I'm sorry that you're sick, but I'm glad to be with you." Jane took a deep breath before continuing.

"Listen, Maura, I want you to know something. This has been the worst month of my life; I've missed you so much." Jane's voice cracked with emotion. "I don't care what kind of relationship you want to have, I don't care what happened before or why it happened—but I want you in my life. I don't know what you want me to do or say so I'll just say I love you, I love you so much, and I'm done pretending."

Jane felt Maura take a couple of deep breaths, and then she turned over to face her friend. There were tears in her eyes, but Jane only saw them briefly before Maura curled up against the length of Jane's body again, tucking her head into the crook of Jane's neck.

She whispered against Jane's chest, "I can't pretend any more either. I love you too, and I'm sorry. Please stay. Please say you'll stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Maura. Not ever."


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles_

Maura's bout with the flu lasted almost an entire week, and during that time Jane took good care of her patient. Every minute she wasn't at work she was at Maura's. She made sure Maura drank enough soup and Gatorade, she held her in her arms when her fever spiked, and brought in an endless supply of tissues, cough medicine, and DVDs.

Maura had never felt so cared for and so loved in all of her life. It was almost worth being sick.

There were so many things she had always admired Jane for—her intelligence, her abilities as a detective, her fierce love and loyalty to her family. Maura also admired Jane for the compassion she displayed for the many victims that she worked with on a regular basis, but that compassion was usually manifest in a fashion that was peculiarly Jane: as an obstinate drive to solve crimes and pursue justice.

But when that compassion was directed toward her, Maura realized, it was manifest as a tenderness and a warmth that she had never seen from the detective before. It thrilled Maura to know that Jane cared so much about her—thrilled her so much that it was a bit overwhelming at times.

The second night that Jane stayed over with her, Maura woke up shivering and discovered that she was drenched in sweat. Jane immediately woke when she felt Maura stirring and took charge of the situation. She got out a clean pair of pajamas—the pair that she had just laundered that evening—and sent Maura into the bathroom to change. When Maura came out, Jane had already put fresh sheets on the bed. She made Maura take a drink of water to replace the fluids she had lost, and then put her back under the covers. Curled up in Jane's arms, Maura couldn't help but let the tears fall and Jane soon noticed.

"Oh, sweetie, you'll feel better soon, I promise," Jane whispered sleepily into Maura's ear.

"It's not that, it's—you're being so good to me, Jane. I don't deserve it, especially after—after—"

"Shh, Maura, let's not talk about that now. Later, we'll talk, after you're better. Just sleep now, okay?"

Maura quieted, breathing deeply. "Okay. I love you, Jane."

"I love you too."

Despite the fact that she was sick and felt physically awful, Maura found that her sick leave was a welcome respite from the emotional turmoil she had been experiencing. Jane was being incredibly patient with her, and hadn't once asked for an explanation for the events of the previous month. With her libido dampened by illness and Jane treating her only like a friend—if a very close friend—she didn't have to think about the physical aspect of their relationship and where it was going. Once her fever broke and she started regaining a little energy, the two women simply enjoyed each other's company. In a way, they were still pretending that nothing had happened until Maura was healthy enough to deal with it. They were just pretending together instead of apart.

The day of reckoning had to come, though, and both women knew it. Finally, one afternoon Maura called Jane at work.

"Hi Jane, guess what." Maura sounded like her old self again.

"What—you finally figured out what happened to that retainer you lost in sixth grade?" Jane could imagine the exact look on Maura's face as she realized that Jane was teasing her—the narrowed eyes, the pursed lips, the tiny smile curling up at the corner of her mouth.

"No, that remains a mystery, and I'll probably continue to have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. I really wish I hadn't told you that story. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I haven't had a fever for forty-eight hours so I've been cleared to go back to work tomorrow."

"Are you sure you're feeling up to it?"

"I should be fine—I've had a lot more energy today. I even caught up on all of the laundry and cleaning so you won't have to do it tonight."

Jane wondered if that was her cue that she should return to her apartment and sleep in her own bed. She didn't want to do it—even sharing a bed with a sick Maura Isles was better than sleeping alone—but she knew it had to be done.

"Oh, that's good, because we just caught a case and I'm going to have to work late—so you'll be okay on your own tonight?" Jane stretched the truth just a bit, hoping to make the transition back to normal life a bit less awkward.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you, Jane, for all of your help. It means a lot to me."

"No problem, Maura, I was glad to do it. What are friends for?"

The question hung in the air as both women wondered: A_re we just friends? Or something more?_

Jane knew exactly what she wanted the answer to be, but she had to wait for Maura to decide.

When Jane reached her desk at work the next morning, there was another cream-colored envelope waiting for her. She felt panic rising in her throat—it looked exactly the same as the note that Maura had left for her over a month before.

Jane stared at the envelope for nearly a full minute before she finally decided that she should probably give Maura the benefit of the doubt and read it before storming into the morgue again.

_Dear Jane,_

_Sorry for sending you another note, but I think you'll agree that the occasion is more appropriate in this case._

_Jane, would you do me the honor of being my date this Friday night? __I have reservations at the Bristol Lounge for eight o'clock, so I will pick you up at seven-thirty if you are amenable to spending the evening with me._

_All my love,_

_Maura_

A grin spread across Jane's face, and it stayed there pretty much all day long.

She immediately whipped out her phone and sent a text.

_Sorry to answer by text but I don't have any fancy stationery. __I can use fancy words though: I would be delighted to be your date this Friday, and I look forward to the event with great anticipation. Love, Jane._

Then she found the restaurant's website to find out what kind of evening she was in for. After perusing the menu and photos of the food and dining area, she took out her phone again and hit the speed dial.

"Ma? Are you free this afternoon? I need you to take me shopping." Jane groaned in anticipation of her mother's reaction to her next words: "For a dress."

She had to hold the phone away from her ear as Angela screamed in delight.

* * *

Jane was ready for her date early, so she watched from the window as Maura's car pulled up in front of her building. When Maura got out, she saw exactly what she expected—Maura was perfectly put together, from her three-inch heels to her stunning green dress to the silky strands of hair that fell around her shoulders.

Jane felt tingly all over. She watched the sway of Maura's hips as she made her way to the door and hoped against hope that tonight, this night, she would put her hands around that waist and pull those hips against her own.

Jane's wish came true, and much more quickly than she had anticipated.

When Jane opened the door for her, Maura had the shock of her life. She had never—not once—seen Jane Rizzoli in a dress. But here she was, in the most amazing little black dress she had ever seen. It exposed Jane's cleavage and hugged her trim waist and hips, and Jane's legs—oh, Jane's legs. They just went on forever. And in heels?

All Maura could do was stare. She absolutely could not tear her eyes away from the perfect body standing before her.

"Jane—that dress . . . you look amazing." Finally she looked up at Jane's eyes and found them shining with delight.

"You like it? Ma and I picked it out yesterday." She twirled around so Maura could see the full effect.

_Oh god, it's backless_.

"Turn around again, I want to see the back," said Maura a bit breathlessly. Jane complied, and under the pretense of examining the stitching, Maura touched Jane's bare skin around the edges of the dress. Then she dropped all pretense and traced her fingers lightly up and then down Jane's exposed spine.

Jane's breath caught in her throat as she felt Maura touch her. When Maura rested both of her hands on Jane's hips, still staring at the bare skin in front of her, Jane turned around and the two women pressed their bodies tightly together.

"You look so beautiful, Jane—I've never seen you in a dress before."

"Yeah, well, I don't wear dresses for just anyone. But you are pretty special to me, Dr. Isles, and I wanted to look my best for this date. Our first date." Jane smiled and looked into Maura's eyes. Then she reached up and caressed Maura's face with just the tips of her fingers.

"Jane—I," Maura shivered slightly as Jane's fingers moved to the soft skin at the side of her neck. "I want you to kiss me—is that all right?" Maura's voice was shaky, but hopeful.

Jane leaned in close, and rested her forehead against Maura's, cupping the back of her neck with one hand and her waist with the other. She whispered, "Do you promise not to run away?"

Maura looked deep into Jane's eyes and whispered back, "I promise."

Then Jane closed the distance between them and their lips met. It was nothing like the heated and hasty kisses of their previous encounter, but no less passionate. Jane took control, opening her mouth and sucking on Maura's bottom lip, teasing it with light pressure from her tongue. Maura moaned as she moved to meet Jane's tongue with her own. She felt the heat radiating from there outward, filling her entire body with the most delicious warmth.

Finally, they broke apart, breathing heavily. Jane broke the silence. "We'd better get going if we're going to make our reservation."

Maura shook herself out of a daze and cleared her throat. "Yes, we should go." She reluctantly moved her body away from Jane's, but she reached out and took the other's woman's hand, lacing their fingers tightly together. They both walked out into the night air, breathing deeply and trying to calm their racing hearts.

A/N: I realize that in the "real" Rizzoli & Isles world Maura would have already seen Jane in the little black dress. But I couldn't help including it here, 'cause damn, Jane/Angie just looks so good in that dress . . .


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles_

Jane and Maura arrived at the restaurant a bit early and were informed that their table wasn't quite ready. So Jane took a seat at the bar and ordered a fancy beer while Maura went to the ladies' room muttering something about a wrinkle in her dress.

When Maura returned to the bar, the first thing she noticed was Jane sitting with her back toward the door. Maura was making a mental note to encourage Jane to wear more backless clothing when she saw that a man was sitting next to her at the bar. Maura stopped short when she saw the look on his face. She knew that look—men gave it to her all the time. She imagined that in their minds the men were saying something along the lines of: _this one's mine_.

She hated that look.

Maura watched the man for a few seconds longer, until he reached out and touched Jane's arm. Then something inside her snapped and she strode briskly across the room. As soon as she reached the bar she put her hand on the bare skin at the small of Jane's back and when Jane turned her head to look at her she captured her lips in a forceful kiss. The kiss lasted several seconds longer than an appropriate public kiss should have. It was clear that with this kiss Maura was the one saying, _this one's mine_.

When Maura pulled away, Jane gave her a slightly confused smile and then turned back toward the man opposite her.

"Steve, this is my girlfriend, Dr. Maura Isles." Jane turned back toward Maura again, with raised eyebrows. "Maura, this is Steve Mills—we went to high school together, believe it or not."

Maura responded politely, as calmly and coolly as if she hadn't just tongue-kissed her girlfriend in front of a total stranger. "Oh! What a coincidence!" She barely gave the man a glance before turning back to Jane again. "Jane, I believe our table is ready." The two women walked out of the bar, while Jane called out lamely over her shoulder: "Good to see you again, Steve!"

The short walk to their table was enough time for Maura to feel a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over her. Once again, she had let her emotions get the best of her. She sat down and immediately began studying the menu that the waiter put in front of her.

"Maura."

"I know that most of the menu items probably seem unfamiliar to you, Jane, but don't worry, the food here is delicious and I know just what you'll like. Maybe I should order for the both of us—" Maura spoke quickly, without taking her eyes from the menu.

"Maura, what the hell was that?" Jane whispered forcefully across the table, with just the slightest lilt in her voice that told Maura that she wasn't really upset.

Maura looked up sheepishly. "I didn't like the way he was looking at you."

"And what way was he looking at me?"

"You know, that way that men look at women they are hoping to seduce. Now can we please just change the subject?"

"Maura Isles, you were jealous. Admit it."

Maura's face hardened, and Jane immediately wondered what she had said wrong.

"I was _not_ jealous. Jealousy is a very ugly emotion." Maura looked down at her menu again.

"Maura, sweetie," said Jane as she reached across the table and took Maura's hand. "You know that I have no interest in him, right?"

Maura sighed. "Of course. I know you wouldn't just leave me for an old high school acquaintance. I just—I just didn't like the way he was looking at you."

"I think you're adorable when you're jealous, you know."

Maura smiled awkwardly, but a shadow crossed over her features as she repeated her previous statement in a small voice. "I was not jealous."

"Okay, you weren't jealous. But you're still adorable." Maura smiled more enthusiastically this time, but Jane couldn't help but notice that the shadow remained. She let the subject drop and the two women had a pleasant evening together, but something was definitely off.

* * *

As Maura drove back to Jane's apartment after their dinner, she seemed increasingly distracted. Jane could practically see the wheels spinning in her head, and it worried her.

When they reached Jane's building, Maura put the car in park and turned off the engine but made no move that would indicate she was planning on getting out.

"Jane, I'm kind of tired—is it okay if we call it a night?"

Jane took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. "Don't do this, Maura."

"Don't do what, Jane?" Maura tried to play innocent, but her tone was flat.

"What happened at the restaurant is bothering you, but you don't want to talk about it so you are trying to run away again." Jane turned in her seat and took Maura's hand. "You promised you wouldn't run away—you promised just a few hours ago, remember?"

"I'm not—"

"Don't finish that sentence, because we both know you'd be lying and you hyperventilate when you lie."

Maura gave Jane a look, half expecting that Jane was teasing her, but when she saw Jane's mouth set in a straight line she knew she was serious.

"Just because I don't want to talk about it doesn't mean I'm running away. Can't we talk about it tomorrow?"

"No, because tomorrow will turn into next week, and then the week after that, and then we're right back where we started."

The two women sat in silence for several moments while Jane ran her thumb over the back of Maura's hand.

"Why don't you want to talk about it, Maura? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do, Jane, it's just—" Maura gripped Jane's hand tighter, but stared straight ahead. "I know once I start talking I'll probably start crying and then you'll get frustrated with me, and then I'll be frustrated . . ."

Jane felt a twinge of guilt, because she had been known to tease Maura for her tendency to conjure tears out of nowhere. At the same time, she also resented the idea that Maura believed she treated her emotions lightly.

"When have I ever gotten frustrated with you for crying? I mean, besides when you get upset over silly things like those awful spandex P.U.K.E. running outfits. And your damn wrinkled dresses. I know you, Maura, and I know when you're really upset and when you're just irritated. But if you're really worried about it, I promise I will try my best not to get frustrated—if you'll just talk to me, and be honest with me."

"You're frustrated with me right now, though, don't you see?" Maura turned and gave Jane a searching look. "You have the exact same look on your face that you use with suspects, with Frost, with your mother. I don't want to be just—just another person in your life who pisses you off!"

"What? You don't piss me off, Maura—"

"But I do make you frustrated—I see you trying to control your breathing, and I know the looks that you give me. How long before all of my little quirks and my idiosyncrasies start to drive you nuts? I used to be the person that you came to when you wanted to escape your mother's craziness, or the pressures of your job. What happens when you want to escape from me? Who will you go to, to escape from me?" Maura ended her speech with a quiet sob.

What Maura was saying to her seemed so unfair that it made Jane want to scream. She had never given Maura any indication that she wanted an escape from her or her quriky habits.

It all made her want to curse and throw things and then run away.

Instead, she withdrew her hand from Maura's so that she could cover her face. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, resting her forehead on the dashboard.

The minutes ticked by. Maura watched them, while she waited for Jane to either say something or get out of the car. 10:05 became 10:06, and then 10:07 and 10:08. Her heart was pounding, and her mind was racing as she tried to imagine what Jane would say to her, and how she would respond.

Finally, something clicked in Jane's mind and she abruptly sat up. "Maura, look at me," she said in a voice thick with emotion. She turned and took both Maura's hands in hers. "I'm sorry that you think I'm pissed off at you. I know I get pissed off way too easily. Right this minute half of me wants to just stomp out of the car and slam the door. I'm impulsive and impatient and a lot of other things and I'm sorry."

Jane kept looking into Maura's glistening eyes as she continued. "But everything you've just said to me—it makes me sad. It makes me sad to realize that you don't know that I love you not _in spite_ of your quirkiness, but _because_ of it. I wish I had told you this before—I don't know why I didn't. I love that you wanted to run that marathon for those P.U.K.E. kids. I love that you sneak off and shop for shoes online. I love that you're so damn smart scientists should be lining up begging to study your brain."

"But most of all, I love that you put up with all of _my_ idiosyncrasies. Maura, I shot myself and then bitched and moaned about it for two months and you put up with me every damn day. I put you through hell, and you never complained."

"So please, Maura, please," Jane gripped Maura's hands tighter, "don't ever be afraid that I will try to escape you. I will never forget how badly I felt that month when we were apart—I can't feel that way again. I was so empty and so sad, and—broken. I was broken without you. So please tell me that you'll try. That you'll stay."

Tears were streaming down Maura's cheeks and she couldn't speak, but she nodded.

"Okay?" Jane leaned in and kissed Maura then, tasting the salt on her lips. Ever so gently, she kissed the tears away. "You'll come in the house with me?"

Maura nodded again, and then gave a small smile.

"I don't care if you cry, you're beautiful even with tears on your face."

That made Maura giggle with relief, and she rubbed the tears away as best she could before she finally found her voice.

"So you aren't mad at me for kissing you in the bar?"

"Are you kidding? That was fan-fucking-tastic! Steve Mills was an obnoxious prick in high school who was always trying to get into my pants. I was proud to show off my new doctor girlfriend, and proud to know that she wanted to show me off a little bit too." Jane grinned, and so did Maura. "In fact, can we go around and visit some other people I went to high school with and kiss in front of them?"

"Absolutely, as long as we can pay a visit to a couple of my old boyfriends."

"Good, that's settled then. Now can we please go inside before I freeze my ass off?"

Maura leaned in for another kiss, just for reassurance, and opened the car door.

A/N: Thank you so much to my faithful reviewers! I hope you'll all continue to stay with me—this story isn't turning out quite as I expected it to, but I think it will end up okay in the end. I'd love any and all feedback!


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles_

Sitting on Jane's couch with her shoes off and glass of wine in her hand, Maura immediately felt much better. The two women had sat side by side like this so many times before—Maura felt as comfortable in these familiar surroundings as she did anywhere.

She put down her wine glass and turned toward Jane, drawing her legs up on the couch. Jane did the same, and Maura found herself staring into the deep dark eyes that she loved so much. She reached up and traced her finger down Jane's jaw line, and then leaned in and lightly brushed over Jane's lips with her own. Slowly, silently, she moved her mouth over Jane's cheekbones, nose, and chin, exploring every facial feature with her lips. She could hear Jane's breathing becoming increasingly erratic as she moved to her long, smooth throat. She felt Jane's hands on both sides of her head, tangling in her hair and holding her closer. Maura's movements became less gentle then, sucking instead of nuzzling, biting instead of kissing.

Jane pulled Maura away from her neck and captured her lips into a searing kiss. Hungrily, greedily, she took what she had been wanting for so long—total control over the warm, sweet mouth of Maura Isles. Maura gave in to her readily, making soft groaning noises at the back of her throat that sent shock waves to Jane's core.

But when Maura began a soft chant of her name interspersed with mewling sounds and short, sharp breaths, Jane remembered. She remembered Maura in this frenzied state and she loved it and feared it at the same time. She pulled away.

"Maura—" She took several shallow breaths, taking in much needed oxygen, as she extricated herself from Maura's arms and moved away from the center of the couch. Maura looked stunned, and she quickly turned away.

"I'm sorry, Jane, I'm sorry–"

"No, Maura, please listen, everything's okay—we just have to talk. I—I don't want to go through with this and then lose you again. I have to know why you left last time; I have to know what I did wrong so that I won't do it again."

Maura's emotions rose up to the surface so quickly she felt dizzy. Her voice took on a strangled tone that Jane didn't recognize. "I _told_ you, Jane, you didn't do anything wrong! It was me! I hated myself for losing control like that. It was just _fucking_, Jane—I felt like I was using you just to get myself off. I didn't ask you what you wanted, or if it was okay, or . . . or anything. I just demanded what I wanted. I was as thoughtless and selfish as any of the guys I dated who just wanted me for sex. And I _hate_ those guys, Jane. I hate them like I hated that guy in the bar today, with their leers and winks and brains no bigger than their penises!"

"Maura, it's okay—"

"No, Jane, it's not okay! You don't deserve to be treated that way. I don't want to just _lust_ after you—lust is ugly, demeaning—"

"Like jealousy?"

"Yes, like jealousy. Another emotion I demonstrated so disastrously today." Maura sank into the couch with her head in her hands.

Finally, Jane felt like she was beginning to understand.

She got up and sat next to Maura on the other end of the couch, putting her arm gently around her shoulders.

"Maura, do you love me?"

Maura looked up, surprised. "Of course I do!"

"Tell me, then."

Maura looked slightly confused, but she replied without hesitation. "I love you, Jane." She reached out and softly touched Jane's cheek. "I love you more than anyone I've ever known. I never thought I could ever love someone so much, or want to be with someone so much. It's like you opened me up to a whole world that I knew existed out there somewhere, but that I never dreamed would be possible for someone like me. You're sweet and loving and kind and generous and beautiful and I love you."

Jane squeezed Maura tightly. "Thank you, baby, I love you too. And you know what? That night, that wonderful, horrible night, when you were quivering in my arms and begging me to fuck you, I loved you so much I thought I would explode. Yes, I was more turned on than I have ever been, and I wanted you, but the main thing I felt was love. I was _inside_ you, Maura, inside your most intimate of places and it was like nothing else. Sure, the sex was quick and dirty but it was amazing—at least for me. And I'm so, so sorry that it wasn't just as amazing for you."

Jane paused for a moment, and stroked Maura's hair in silence. When she spoke again, her voice was deep and gentle, just above a whisper.

"From everything you've said, it seems like no one has ever shown you the loving side of sex before. And I'm kind of glad, in a really selfish way, because I get to be the one to show it to you." Jane kissed Maura's temple gently, and held her close.

Finally, Maura spoke in a small voice. "How are you going to show me, Jane? What if I'm already so broken that it doesn't work?"

"We'll work on it together. And to start, you are going to make love to me. Slowly," Jane growled, and Maura's heart jumped at the vibration she felt. "And only when you're ready, not just because we want it quick and dirty. You aren't going to just tell me how much you love me; you're going to show me. And I am going to scream and swear and totally lose all control and you'll see how wonderful it is to do that to someone that you love. And then maybe you'll let me do it to you."

"How will I know when I'm ready?"

"You'll just know."

* * *

At the door of her apartment, Jane kissed Maura goodnight and closed the door behind her. Then she went to the window to make sure she got into her car okay. She watched as Maura walked to the car and unlocked it. She watched as Maura looked up, seeing her standing in the window with the curtain pulled back.

Jane's heart pounded as Maura closed the car door and walked back up the sidewalk and up the steps. Jane opened the door for her before she had a chance to knock.

"I'm ready now, Jane," said Maura breathlessly.

"Thank goodness," exclaimed Jane, as she took the woman she loved by the hand, and led her to the bedroom.

Standing at the foot of the bed, Jane put her hands on Maura's hips and pulled her tightly against her. "We'll go slow, okay? And we can stop any time if you want—but you have to talk to me, okay?"

"Okay." Maura began sliding the straps of Jane's dress off of her shoulders, unconsciously licking her lips in anticipation.

Then she suddenly stopped. "Jane, what if I talk too much—you know, how I do sometimes?"

Jane laughed. "Then I'll just kiss you until you can't remember what you were going to say."

Maura giggled then, and her hands went back to their task. "I've been wanting to take this dress off of you all night." She tugged at the fabric until Jane's breasts were revealed. Jane's torso was covered in gooseflesh, and she struggled to control her breathing as Maura just looked at her.

"Touch me, Maura, please." Maura took a step forward, at first tentatively nuzzling her mouth between Jane's breasts, and then moaning as she pinched one nipple with her fingers and sucked on the other, stroking it with her tongue.

"Tell me what you're feeling . . . oh god, Maura, talk to me . . ." Jane arched her back and gripped Maura's hips, unable to stop herself from seeking more contact.

"I want to know what they feel like against mine," said Maura softly.

With that, Jane shimmed out of her dress completely, causing Maura to gasp and run her fingers over the fabric of the black boy shorts that had been hidden beneath the dress. The sight of those tiny, feminine shorts sitting just below Jane's jutting hip bones and an impossibly flat stomach was one that she hoped she would see again many times, and remember forever.

Jane slowly began undressing Maura, letting her dress fall to the floor. She unhooked Maura's bra and tossed it aside. Now it was Jane's turn to stare at Maura's breasts. Jane softly touched her hardened nipples as though she were afraid she would break them, but then Maura distracted her by ripping off her underwear and gently playing with the dark curls she found beneath. Jane sat on the bed and pulled Maura between her legs, removing the last bit of clothing that Maura wore and then kissing her navel and letting her hands roam over creamy thighs. Soon they were stretched out on the bed, bodies intertwined, intent on exploring every inch of each other's skin.

Soon Jane rolled over and positioned Maura on top of her, spreading her legs. Maura took the hint and put her hand between Jane's legs, cupping her there and feeling the heat emanating from her core. Slowly, she slid her fingers up and down the length of Jane's dripping center, while Jane writhed and moaned beneath her.

"It's so soft—so soft and warm and—oh!" Maura moaned as she dipped in first one finger, and then two, exploring the muscles, pushing her fingers further and further. She felt Jane clench around her so she suddenly thrust upward, hard, causing Jane to scream out "Fuck, Maura!" Maura felt a surge of arousal, and she withdrew her fingers briefly before plunging them in again, matching the rhythm that Jane was creating with her hips.

"More, Maura, fuck, please!"

Jane felt Maura's thumb on her clit then, swirling in slow circles, then fast, and then slow again, while her fingers pumped in and out. It didn't take long before Jane fell over the edge into orgasm, screaming Maura's name and making a keening sound as her inner muscles contracted violently and then finally slowed, leaving her spent and breathless.

Maura slowly extracted her fingers and curled up at Jane's side, stroking her breasts and stomach. She waited for Jane's breathing to regulate, and for her heart rate to slow down before she spoke.

"Jane, that was—"

"Amazing?" Jane managed to croak out this one word, as she put her arm around Maura's shoulders.

"I had no idea what it would feel like to be inside you. And when you came—I could _feel_ it. The heat, and the energy—and you looked so beautiful, a new kind of beautiful that I haven't seen before. I have to see that again, Jane. Feel that again." Maura propped herself up on her elbow and moved her hand down Jane's torso, ready to plunge her fingers in again.

But Jane stopped her. "Oh, there'll be time for more of that later. Now it's your turn."

Jane flipped Maura over, pinning her to the mattress and kissing her until she moaned and gasped for breath.

"Is this okay, Maura? Tell me what you want me to do."

Maura responded with an upward thrust of her hips, trying to relieve some of the tension in her throbbing clit. Jane ground into her several times, but then stopped. "I don't want you to come too fast, baby. At least not before I've had a chance to really taste you." Jane began paving a wet trail down Maura's torso, sliding further down between her legs. Maura froze as she felt Jane's tongue lapping at her folds.

Jane asked for reassurance again. "Are you with me, Maura?"

Maura nodded vigorously, and cried out, "Don't stop Jane, that feels so good, please don't stop."

Jane continued her ministrations, increasing the pressure with her tongue. She watched as Maura began giving up all control, becoming a panting, sweaty mess.

"I love you so much, Maura, and you look so fucking amazing right now." She pushed two fingers abruptly into Maura's wetness, curling them, pushing as far as she could. Maura was still panting, with her head thrown back and her hips bucking.

All it took was for Jane to lower her mouth onto Maura's clit, flicking it with her tongue and then sucking hard, and Maura screamed in pleasure. Jane immediately covered Maura's body with her own, rolling her onto her side and holding her tightly and whispering soft "I love yous" as Maura came down from her orgasm.

After several long minutes, Maura's breathing had slowed but she still hadn't moved. With some trepidation, Jane broke the silence.

"Are you still with me, Maura? Was that okay?"

Maura muttered into the crook of Jane's neck, "Are you kidding? That was fan-fucking-tastic."

Jane giggled with relief, and felt Maura giggle along with her.

**The End.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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